I remember years ago, my dad used to get upset when I wear spaghetti strap tops. He claimed it was inappropriate. He disapproved of the clothing and I am sure he thought he was protecting me. And I am thankful that he cared enough to take that stand. But it never made sense to me. Shoulders. Arms. What is the problem?
This morning I read an article about a girl in Quebec who was sent home because she wore denim shorts. I saw the picture, they weren’t even that short. Quite modest as far as shorts go. I’d say it’s a job well done for any teenager. Another girl was sent home due to her tank top. Her bra straps were showing. I distinctly remember my dad having a problem with this as well. No bra straps. Bra straps have always been a big NO.
But why? Why bra straps? It’s a stupid piece of elastic. Is it because it is underwear? Would it be better if I was wearing a bikini top underneath? Technically not underwear anymore, so it’s better, right? O, I know... let’s just ditch underwear completely. No underwear is showing so no problem! Would that be better? You think the boys will concentrate better on their school work now?
Tell me, why is it ok for my husband to walk outside without a shirt on... but not me? Men can wear shorts, pants and skirts. They are allowed the tightest shirts, with or without sleeves. But girls get turned away from the gym because their shoulders are showing. Seems a little wrong, doesn’t it?
This is bullshit. I really don’t care how well intentioned these dumb rules are... they are still dumb rules meant to oppress women and sexualize their bodies. And the problem starts at home. A good friend of mine said last night that his job as a father is to teach his daughter to take care of herself. And that got me thinking. I have two boys. What do I do? What is my job as a parent?
My job is to teach them to respect women. Teach them to not look unless invited. Don’t touch unless asked. Learn to control yourself. You are not a mindless animal. You are an intelligent human being, capable of showing restrain and respect. You are a man and will not sexualize women. And hopefully if he should ever cross that line (hopefully that will never happen), I hope the girl on the other end was one raised to take care of herself and kick his ass. Because if she doesn’t, I will. I will not teach my boys that it is the girl's fault. I will not teach them that girls are asking for it. I will not teach them that it is ever ok. I will not sit by and teach my boys that girls in shorts and tank tops because it is summer, is anything less than just a girl in shorts and a tank top. And that means I can't shut up over it. I can't just let them be and say "Boys will be boys." What a bullshit phrase.
It’s a tough job. I often think to myself how lucky I am not to have girls. There are so many things girls need to be taught... and before I can finish the thought I catch myself. No, I am not lucky. My job might very well be even bigger. Teaching my boys to respect those girls, regardless of their clothing. THAT is a tough job. And with a lot of hard work and a little bit of luck, we can change these dumb rules because they are worth changing.
Because our girls are worth empowering.
No comments:
Post a Comment