For the last few weeks I've been feeling a little down. Much like Frodo. This little scene in The Lord of the Rings kept playing in my head:
The only difference is, in my life I couldn't hear a Gandalf. I couldn't hear that other people have been in my situation. I couldn't hear that it is up to me to do what is necessary. I was stuck in my self-pity. I was stuck being Frodo. Frodo is not my favourite character. In fact, I can watch all the Lord of the Rings movies and skip all the Frodo parts as soon as they run out of the Shire. Frodo is far too mopey for me. At least when Aragorn is mopey he is also rediculously good looking. You can cry on my shoulder all day long, Strider!
Today my Gandalf showed up. He took the form of a tiny and very talented photographer. We did a lot of talking. We discussed our kids and the things that make them special. We discussed our families and experiences. We discussed moments of wonder and awe. Moments we are proud of. And you know what? I came home and heard Gandalf. I heard him.
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
And I am out of my rut. Ready to take this world on! I'm going to do whatever is necessary and will fight to the very end. I will stop feeling sorry for myself. Odd thing, I never really did feel sorry for myself but the more people took pity on me and my situation, the more I started feeling like this is how I'm supposed to feel. You know what? They are wrong. There is no room for pity. I will not wallow in despair and self pity. I will take control of my life and my household again.
Word of warning: No Frodos will be welcome here. I will kick you out.
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