I think I might have finally figured out why my child isn’t talking. Next week he’ll be three. A whole three years old and he was assessed at having the language skills of a one year old. The baby will be one next week as well, so I guess they are on the same level! Born on the same day and with the same current language ability... weird, eh?
A few weeks ago he was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. The Developmental Pediatrician that performed half of the evaluation told me that he will need to learn things other kids do out of instinct by example. Which is why we are putting him in preschool starting in September. For months he’s been visiting with a Speech Pathologist, checking in and seeing where his language is at. She kept giving me all these awesome exercises to do with him, but none worked. I attended a parent workshop where they teach us how to teach our kids to talk. None of the activities were successful. We failed at everything.
After meeting with my son again, the lady who presented the class agreed that he might not be behaviourally ready for speech therapy. Our first course of action should be to get him into behaviour therapy or intervention and try again in a year or two. We’ll wait and see. Maybe with the right behavioural team, speech will start happening on its own.
But then it hit me. How could I have not put two and two together before? I know why he doesn’t talk! He just doesn’t get that that is what you are supposed to do.
Example: My friend’s kid made a mud pie in the park down the street from us. She stood in a specific spot and went through the actions of making a mud pie, handed it to her mother and her mom had to pretend to eat it. My boy saw that. He noticed. Weeks later we went to the park. We ended up in the same spot and suddenly he knew what to do. He picked up the mud, made a pie and handed it to me. I tried to throw the mud pie away, but he just made another and stood there until I pretended to eat it. He was happy, turned around and ran away. Done.
He knew those are the actions he was supposed to take under those circumstances. And that will explain why he did so well in daycare. He started talking in daycare. He said all sorts of things but stopped talking soon after. I always wondered about that. I wondered if I’m such a bad mother that my child won’t talk in front of me. That he is regressing because he spends so much time with me. But no, that’s not it. He is regressing because he isn’t seeing kids around his own age on a regular basis saying the things he is supposed to be saying. He isn’t seeing them ask for milk, and then getting milk. He isn’t seeing them naming objects and getting a response. He only sees me, labeling and naming things. He sees me saying milk over and over and over again. How weird must that be? He must think I’m totally crazy to keep saying the same word a million times. He doesn’t get that he’s supposed to repeat it. He just doesn’t get it because he hasn’t seen it in action.
It all makes sense now. And now I don’t worry anymore. I don’t worry about his speech. I know it will come when the time is right. Probably when he sees his brother ask for that cookie he wanted, and then get!
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